What You Don’t Know About Chuck Norris

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Happy hump day, DC. Here’s what’s trending in and around the District this morning:

Chuck Norris: Chuck Norris, the roundhouse-kicking Texas vigilante, has written a column for Rightly Concerned in which he calls President Obama “the sultan of socialist swing.” To add weight to his argument, Norris claims that (get ready…) Judge Judy feels the same way. Interesting fact about Chuck Norris: In addition to winning American Idol by using only sign language and drinking napalm to quell his heartburn, Chuck Norris is 72 years old.

National Cathedral: The Cathedral’s tower is expected to reopen this weekend for the first time since a 5.8-magnitude earthquake hit the District in August. WAMU reports that “visitors will be able to climb the 333 steps from the ground to the top of the tower,” and that “the cathedral says the climb takes about 45 minutes and says it’s not for the faint of heart or those with a fear of heights.” Sounds like a challenge.

Unfortunate: Stay classy, Examiner

 

Superhuman: Lionel Messi broke the all-time Barcelona scoring record yesterday by notching his 18th hat trick for the club, giving him 234 career goals. To give an idea of how bonkers this is, please consider: a) He is 5’6”; b) he is just 24 years old; c) he has only been playing at Barcelona for eight seasons; d) he has scored 154 goals in his past 153 games; e) Alessandro del Piero and Francesco Totti, widely considered among the best players ever, have scored 286 and 266 goals for their respective clubs… and have been playing with them for 18 and 20 seasons. The below video doesn’t really do this feat justice, so click here and listen to it go down live in Catalan.

 
New York Times: It’s happening… Expect the Washington Post and every other newspaper to follow suit.