Fat Tuesday Edition

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Happy Mardi Gras, Washington! N’awlins may not be in the (credit) cards this year, but here are ten places in the DMV where you can tuck into a po’boy, lift an elbow, and laissez le bon temps rouler.

Is There Any More Room For Me In Those Jeans? The Washington Post reports that a group called Collective Action for Safe Spaces/Holla Back DC is trying to curb the number of “street harassment”-related instances that take place on the Metro—including when “a man walks up to a woman on the [train] and tells her she looks good in that skirt.”

Dick Cheney: The Washington Examiner reports that former Vice President Dick Cheney and wife Lynne Cheney were at the Jefferson Hotel on Thursday night to support their friend Al Simpson, a former senator from Wyoming who has just released his biography, Shooting from the Hip. Cheney apparently roasted his longtime pal by shooting him in the face.

DeRo: Dwayne De Rosario, MLS’ 2011 MVP, has resigned with DC United, making him the club’s highest-paid player. De Rosario earned about $500,000 last year.

…A few quick facts to consider: DC United averaged 15,500 fans per game last season at RFK Stadium—roughly as many as the Washington Wizards averaged at the Verizon Center (16,622). Last season’s NBA MVP, Derrick Rose, earned a base salary of $6,993,707 in 2011. The NFL’s MVP contenders Tom Brady, Drew Brees, and Aaron Rodgers earned salaries of $13,208,120, $11,693,500, and $10,400,000 (respectively). Dwayne has clearly chosen the wrong sport.

Kwame Brown: Does not like it when people curse.

Stephen Colbert: Is back. We can all step back from that ledge now.